Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Randomize