There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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