I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize