just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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