I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
