we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
It's blow job season.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
