went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
