Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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