I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
