and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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