I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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