Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
this is an emotional support booty call
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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