Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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