He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
