what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
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