I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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