Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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