If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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