I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
