I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize