We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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