Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
