i'm signing you up for texting rehab
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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