He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
