how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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