Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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