I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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