She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
