AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
