threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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