This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
