We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
