i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
