ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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