i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize