somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
There r osticjed everywhere
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
