Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
