you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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