do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize