so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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