I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
