He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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