end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
i've created a new STD.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
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