just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
