Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Randomize