Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
