Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
