I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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