That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
