I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
