Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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