Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
