mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
well you can't waste a boner
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
