I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Randomize
