If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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