Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
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