I wish I could teleport
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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