I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
