he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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