he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
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Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
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I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
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