sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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