how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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